No More
by December Jewel
Summary: AU! Goku is alive. A short story about Gohan's feelings after the Cell games.
1. Chapter 1

I'm on a serious writer's block for all my stories. Sorry! It has been so hectic around here. Here I mean at Huntingdon College. I started almost four weeks ago and I just passed my first quiz. 73. In math too. I think that I deserve a pat on the back. I seriously thought I failed that damn thing.

I have a HUGE test on Friday for Western Civilization. 10 multiple choice, 10 true/false, 15 fill in the blank without a word bank, and 8 identification questions. That is going to kill me.

Anyways, I started writing this on notebook paper about a week ago, so I decided to finish it, type it, and then post it.

_/Writing in a journal_/

_Thoughts_

**Disclaimer:** I have to pay $281 a month just to go here. I'm trying to find a job. After I pay the money for this month, then I will have about five dollars left to buy new clothes if I get a new job. Then I'll have to call home and tell them to send me money. How in the world do you get that I own Dragon Ball Z?

**DRAGON BALL Z**

_/It's cold in my room right now. Seeing the small goose bumps on my upper arms made me come to that conclusion. Mom has been complaining to dad about the heater not working, but I guess he didn't pay any attention to her. I'm surprised it's even cold this time of the year. Last year, it was burning hot. Now, in the middle of November, it's freezing cold. Anyways, the heat or cold never affected me because of the Saiyan half of my blood._/

Gohan stopped writing at the sound of his brother's crying. He heard the heavy footsteps' going towards the two month old's room. When his father started singing a lullaby, the eleven-year-old resumed his task.

_/I'm pretty sure dad will be in here next. I forgot to turn off my light before he could walk by. I remember the times I woke up in the middle of the night and dad always came running in, making sure nothing was wrong. He doesn't do it anymore. He used to come in before the fight with Cell. I think he finally realized that I was forced to grow up too fast. Either that or he's scared of me. I can still see the look on his face when I told him that Cell deserved to be punished. His eyes widened at my statement and emotions flashed through them; happiness that I would win, awe at my abilities, and the fear he would show if I ever turned on him._/

The boy stopped writing again and hurriedly closed the notebook before depositing it in his upper right drawer in the desk he was working at. He could sense his father coming near his room. Gohan rested his elbows on the top of the desk and stared out the window, waiting for the older man to come in.

He didn't have to wait for long. Light poured into his room as his father opened the door and leaned against the door frame, staring at his eldest son. "What are you doing up?" Goku asked, eyes moving to glance at the clock near his son's bed. 2:47 A.M. "It's too early to be staying up late, Gohan."

Gohan shrugged, not wanting to talk and wishing in his head that his father would leave to go back to bed.

Goku frowned. His son had changed since his fight with Cell. He wasn't the bouncy, care-free kid Goku remembered, but a dark depressing preemie. His wife had said that all kids are like that when they're about to hit teenage years. Gohan was only eleven, not thirteen like the emotions and hormones usually came. "Is there something you want to talk about, son?"

_Oh, yeah. How about whenever you look at me you think I'm going to kill you. Or when I start to say something you think it's going to be bad._ The boy rolled his eyes at his thoughts. "No."

"Gohan, you can talk to me about anything. You know that, don't you?" Goku could sense something was bothering the boy, but he wasn't about to pry it out of him. That would make Gohan not want to talk about his feelings when he obviously needed to. The man didn't like not receiving an answer back and walked over to his son. The minute his hand touched his son's shoulder, Gohan jumped up and tackled the man to the ground. Goku was afraid that the boy might want to fight, but he was highly surprised when Gohan started shaking. Goku sat up, pulled himself over to the wall to lean against it, and held his son as he cried. "It's all right. Just let it out, little man."

Gohan froze at the phrase. Little man. His father hasn't called him that since before the Cell games. He pulled away from his father's grip and stood by the window, staring at all the twinkling stars.

His father stared at the boy, wondering what was wrong with him. Goku stood, wiped the imaginary dirt off his pants and spoke, "What's the matt…."

The eleven-year-old interrupted his father's sentence. "Get out," said fiercely, hoping that the man would do just that.

"But? What?"

Gohan turned to face the man he knew as his father. "Do me a favor and get the hell out!"

Goku was shocked beyond words. His son never cursed. Gohan had told him many years ago that he thought cussing was a bad thing to do; that it showed you had no happiness inside you. "I'll leave, son. Just remember that you can come and talk to me whenever you need to, okay?" He didn't expect his son to say anything, so he turned around and walked out the bedroom door, shutting it behind him.

Gohan's body started to shake as the liquid poured out of his eyes. He let himself fall to the ground on his legs and softly pounded his fists on the floor. _No more_, he thought, _No fucking more!_

**DRAGON BALL Z**

TA-DA! And that's the end.


	2. Chapter 2

I wasn't going to continue this but I felt the need that it had to be continued.

**Disclaimer:** Same as before….

**DRAGON BALL Z**

He flew at an alarming rate, dodging high tree branches and diving in and out of spaces. He knew if he kept the pace at a certain speed (considerably high) that none of the Z-fighters would suspect a thing… until it was too late. Not even the dragon balls could help. They didn't work if the death was caused by suicide; not even if the person dead was him. Eleven-year-old Son Gohan: the boy who defeated Cell and killed his own father. Gohan didn't care if the man came back to help raise his second son. The fact still remained, whether anyone would want to admit, that his first born son killed the savior of Earth.

Gohan made sure he was far away from any of them; even Piccolo, before he skidded to a stop in the air. The moment his feet touched the ground, he was off, running to who knows where. He didn't pay attention to the landscape and barely caught himself before he was flung off a cliff. His breathing was rugged as he put a hand to his chest and rubbed where his heart was. He looked over the edge, staring as the waves crashed upon the tall, pointy rocks.

He remembered coming here before the Cell games. It was his only escape from the truth. Gohan had known the day before that his father would be killed. He just didn't think it would be him to commit the sin. He shook his head and wiped away a few stray tears from his eyes. "Hello," he whispered, his voice low and cracking, "it's time we meet for the first time and hopefully the last."

Gohan stopped thinking as he let himself fall over the cliff. He knew it would be painful and he welcomed it with open arms. _It must be my Saiyan side_ was his last thought before he felt no more.

**DRAGON BALL Z**

Chi-Chi didn't know why she suddenly sat up in bed. She ran a hand through her long hair, giving her head a shake and laid back down. Her husband was still sleeping, snoring slightly and she was pretty sure Goten couldn't move out of the crib. So then why was her motherly vibe beating like crazy against her mind?

Gohan!

She jumped out of bed, not caring that she woke Goku up in the process as she ran out of the bedroom and down the hall to her eldest son's room. She opened the door and gasped. He wasn't there! It was three o'clock in the morning. He was supposed to be asleep. "Goku!" she called out, going back to the bedroom they shared. He was sitting up in bed, rubbing at his eyes. "Gohan isn't in his room!"

Goku looked up. "Huh? What are you talking about? Of course he is. His ki is still here Chi-Chi."

The woman frowned. "But he isn't. He's not in his room and I'm pretty sure he's not in the house. Oh, Goku." Chi-Chi slid to the ground, hands resting numbly at her side. "I have a bad feeling. I don't think… I mean… I think he's dead, Goku."

"No he's not." Goku stood and walked over to his wife, picking her up and setting her on the bed before throwing on a t-shirt. "You stay here and I'll go look around, okay? I'll even ask the others to come."

She nodded gratefully as he walked out of the room. Chi-Chi stood and moved over to the window, laying a hand against the glass. "You'll find him Goku," she murmured, "But he won't be alive."

**DRAGON BALL Z**

He was worried. He had looked all around the house and still couldn't find his son. Goku shook his head. She couldn't be right. Gohan's ki was at the house in his bed fast asleep, so why wasn't his son there? The man knew his eldest son must have transferred enough of his ki to his pillow to not alert them to where he was going. His gaze landed on his friends: Krillin, Yamcha, Tien, Piccolo, and even Vegeta were looking for the boy. Why would Gohan leave? Goku remembered the conversation he had with his first born just yesterday morning. What was Gohan thinking? He had been fine during the day and before he went to sleep; Gohan was even laughing and smiling. Something Goku hadn't ever thought he would see again after the Cell games.

"Find anything yet?" he yelled to the others. The pain he was feeling was laced in his words and he knew his face was crawling with emotions.

Krillin shook his head. "Where could he have gone, Goku?"

He looked away. He didn't know and by that action his friends realized what he wanted to say but couldn't. Son Goku had no idea where his son was. The two were inseparable since Gohan was born. You never saw one without the other. It had been like that even after Goten's birth, even though they could tell it was forced on Gohan's part.

A hand clamped down on his shoulder and Goku looked up to see Yamcha smiling sadly at him. "Don't worry, Goku. We'll keep looking till we find him."

"No we won't." The group turned towards Piccolo who had his eyes closed. "I found him." Piccolo pointed downwards and swallowed deeply.

Goku could feel the water come to his eyes as he gazed down at the battered and bruised form of his eldest son. He lowered himself to the water and kneeled down, arms wrapping around Gohan's waist. Goku didn't care that blood was staining his clothes. He didn't care that the other's gasped and Krillin let out a strangle cry. He didn't care that Piccolo immediately flew away, probably to the Lookout. He didn't care that he heard Vegeta murmur a silent prayer in Saiyago (Saiyan language) before taking off back to Capsule Corp to tell Bulma who would then tell Chi-Chi.

No, he didn't care about any of that. All he cared about was the fact that he was holding his dead son's body in his arms and he couldn't bring him back.

**DRAGON BALL Z**

-sighs- Ah, I feel much better now that this chapter was written.

… I forgot to mention that it was A/U. Sorry about that. No More meant that Gohan couldn't take his feelings anymore. Thankies!

**Shadow Dreamer 27:** Here is more for you. Thankies!

**evil kirby:** Eh, it wasn't exactly the end… I just had to write this. Thankies!


End file.
